You need to adjust your communication and working methods mostly according to your superiors’ preferences, not just your own preferences. Unfortunately, this is a fact. Adapting and being flexible are essential skills to deal with different and challenging management styles. At least, try to see this as a positive aspect…

Then, you also need to ask yourself some questions: Am I really being objective when making comments about my manager? It is always crucial to separate emotions from objective observations.

Have I respectfully expressed my concerns and troubling feelings, trying to find common ground or potential solutions?

Of course, first, you need to set clear expectations with your managers regarding your roles, responsibilities, and goals. If you do that, you can minimize misunderstandings and build a more constructive working relationship.

Your manager usually has her/his own challenges and expectations that can influence their behavior. Am I aware of the pressures or difficulties they might be facing? Don’t say, “It doesn’t concern me”; anything that affects your life concerns you as well.

I recommend focusing on solving work-related challenges rather than getting stuck in your manager’s management style. This approach will redirect your focus from problems to actionable steps.

Am I documenting feedback from my superiors and my achievements? I’m not saying you should be a tattletale (remember that when you tattle on your current manager, it signals that you will do the same with future managers), but this documentation can help you speak with facts or data during performance evaluations or discussions with HR when needed.

I’m not saying, “Be a Pollyanna,” but try to see this experience as a personal growth opportunity as I have indicated in the beginning. Dealing with a difficult manager can develop valuable skills such as conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, and adaptability, making it easier for you to manage larger teams in the future.

If you believe you have tried almost everything, and the difficulties persist, negatively affecting your job performance (I feel like saying, “Can you refer your manager to me, please?!”) 😊, you may consider evaluating the situation through appropriate channels in your organization (e.g., HR or upper management) or escalating the issue.

Final words: Throughout my career, I have also had managers who seemed to wear down my patience and enthusiasm for good work from time to time. As I began to realize that dealing with them actually helped me grow more than managing my subordinates, I started to relax and become more proficient in handling such situations.